Its been a while, I haven't written in a while. But something came to a saturation before I actually felt it was right.
I don't feel right. Not in the sense that i am doing the right thing. But it feels like I am doing it right to keep the balance of my endorphins right.
Work is keeping me busy. I like that. I am doing everything right to keep me in the right direction; progression seems a little slow at this stage though. Let us see, what it has to bring forward.
An amazing encounter with my blood and flesh just took place. I put a stone on my heart when I saw Aai cry a tear leaving me at the airport. I played it cool and I thought I would collapse later, but surprisingly I probably kept myself strong enough or maybe the concrete had grown so strong that it didn't strike that bad that it would make me weep. Not saying I am not weak, something I am always afraid of but I realised that over the period of time, with the greys, i have developed a stronger shell too. It does strike but it doesn't hurt, when I have enough preparation for it.
New introductions, yes they are interesting, but i don't find myself innocent enough to deal with them and a greyer shade of my newer personality shows up. Unsure if thats good or bad, I succumb to my routine and neglect too much attention to it.
Many things still pending. Including a hair job, and of course an unceasing job to keep the serotonin, oxytocin and endorphin levels up to the mark.
Its 1st May. I went out last night. I danced with unknown faces and laughed and felt happy. Celebrated a non significant wednesday. Home now to a loneliness and solace that some seek, I found, by chance, tolerating.
A
I don't feel right. Not in the sense that i am doing the right thing. But it feels like I am doing it right to keep the balance of my endorphins right.
Work is keeping me busy. I like that. I am doing everything right to keep me in the right direction; progression seems a little slow at this stage though. Let us see, what it has to bring forward.
An amazing encounter with my blood and flesh just took place. I put a stone on my heart when I saw Aai cry a tear leaving me at the airport. I played it cool and I thought I would collapse later, but surprisingly I probably kept myself strong enough or maybe the concrete had grown so strong that it didn't strike that bad that it would make me weep. Not saying I am not weak, something I am always afraid of but I realised that over the period of time, with the greys, i have developed a stronger shell too. It does strike but it doesn't hurt, when I have enough preparation for it.
New introductions, yes they are interesting, but i don't find myself innocent enough to deal with them and a greyer shade of my newer personality shows up. Unsure if thats good or bad, I succumb to my routine and neglect too much attention to it.
Many things still pending. Including a hair job, and of course an unceasing job to keep the serotonin, oxytocin and endorphin levels up to the mark.
Its 1st May. I went out last night. I danced with unknown faces and laughed and felt happy. Celebrated a non significant wednesday. Home now to a loneliness and solace that some seek, I found, by chance, tolerating.
A
