August 27, 2008

for being mad at and about...

for being mad at and about…

It was all about he being the egoistic, jealous man and he was put up with this not so sentimental but suspicious and super judgmental woman.
Rehan didn’t even know that he was falling in love with Anaida. Anaida had never been in love before and didn’t know what kind of a ‘yucki’ word Love was. When Rehan realized his ‘I miss her’ phase to be ‘I love her’ phase, he didn’t take any time to confess his feelings to Anaida. Anaida was thrilled in the beginning, but she did want it to happen. And she ultimately said the affirmative word. It went well for sometime, but Rehan and Anaida did not build the foundation of trust too strong yet, and that was going to pose a challenge in their relationship soon.
The distance ruled Rehan and Anaida’s relationship. They even followed a different time zone! But that didn’t pose a major problem. They would always find time for each other. But the personalities they were, the barriers soon started getting taller than their tolerance. Silly misunderstandings required hours of explanation and yucki love soon stared fading away. Rehan never wanted to build something where he had to explain things to Anaida. But the super judgmental and suspicious she was, nothing would satisfy her and she would need every minute detail. Even when Rehan would not answer a call, during his ‘daylight sleeping’, Anaida would assume that as a ‘draught in Affection Reservoir’ towards her.
One day Anaida somehow realized the need for more trust and wished to know Rehan more. Obviously she could not ask him directly, so she told him things about her first, expecting that Rehan shall follow. She did do some not so pleasant things in the past that only she knew about. She could have kept those things hidden throughout her life, but she only wanted to win Rehan’s trust. But in stead, Rehan had more doubts about those dangerous confessions. It was more of ‘why did you do what did you do.’ Anaida didn’t have answers for those questions. What she had done had been a forgettable momentary thing. And although she knew it was unethical, she didn’t expect the consequences to affect her this very way. Somewhere she had hurt Rehan’s ego. His jealousy was challenged. But Rehan did love Anaida. He did not want to loose her like that. He respected the courage she showed in admitting those facts. Externally he kept calm. Inside though, he was boiling. He decided to keep a verbal distance with Anaida for a while. Anaida ‘judged’ that act as now a ‘severe drought in love’. She only prayed to her God to settle things between her and Rehan…
Anaida during that time happened to read something on how Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston’s relationship went down the drain. She found something useful from that article that she read and she feared losing Rehan one more time that day.
According to what she read, there were three stages to love. The first stage was called the blind love. In that stage the ‘birds’ were said to have liked everything about each other. She realized that the drunken dancing videos Rehan had shown earlier had appeared to be ‘cute’ and then playing strip poker was ‘adorable’ no matter how much stupid did she think Rehan was at that stage to share his ‘embarrassment’. So did “Am I looking fat, Honey?” for the millionth time got a “No Sugar, you look just as ravishing!” for million plus one-nth time, Anaida realized that!
But then the second stage was going to be slightly different. It was not the easier part, and definitely not so smooth at all, she read, it was in the second stage when the ‘birds’ had to open their eyes for the rest of the world and start taking each other for granted, little by little. In this process the ‘birds’ still don’t know each other entirely. Anaida knew Rehan couldn’t tell how she liked her eggs done for breakfast the other time when she asked him. And when she went to buy him shoes to gift she didn’t know what size to buy, and compromised on a shirt as she knew that size well. But then the second stage was also prone to get boring as the presence was said to be a duty and not volunteership. The article said the second stage was longer than the first, and if successful the relationship could last eternally but if any relationship which had to terminate, it goes down in the drain in stage two.
Anaida feared that she wouldn’t have to take difficult decisions in near future, or Rehan’s non-speaking would continue for too long. Anaida introspected and found that she liked the magnetic spell Rehan had cast on her, which she couldn’t help but think about him every five minutes in her daytime and dream about him at night. And her madness about him had begun to grow but she puzzled if the things were same on the other side.
Anaida finally reached the third stage on the paper! The third stage sounded like music to her ears. It read that in the third stage, the two people know each other’s strengths and weaknesses and always think about each other’s preferences, and how their better half will react to a particular thing, not as a duty, but with instincts. In this stage, difficult topics wouldn’t be a problem for a discussion. Anaida remarked a closer example of her parent’s story which was going through a thin time when her elder sister was born. She thought her parents must have still been in second stage love back then. But today when she looks at them, the unconditional love that they have for each other is more than evident. Once on their long haul flight, Anaida’s Mother didn’t get her special gluten free, no sugar lunch. Anaida’s father made the flight attendant’s flight somewhat miserable back then. Both of them went without food for the entire journey, although Anaida’s father had no special dietary requirements.
Anaida wished Rehan would feel that much love and affection for her one day. But presently this was far from happening. The reality was that Anaida was mad about him, but in some ways, Rehan was mad at her. Anaida decided that she was not going to wait and watch the destiny play its game on them. She thought, if something has to happen, she would have to make an effort to change the situation. Maybe it was time for another confession, a confession to make Rehan realize how much he is thought upon and loved and to make him realize the worth of the smile on his face to her. She decided to tell this to Rehan the next time she would see him. Then she smiled at herself and thought about Rehan one more time and reached her phone to reach him…

(In my knowledge the article Anaida reads about does not exist. I read about that article in an entertainment magazine as part of a conversation which could have happened between Brad Pitt and one of his co-stars and built this fictional story.)

August 5, 2008

My Tribue to a famous actor who died...

Tribute

Vivek laid on the bed to rest for a while. It was around 6 PM, and Tushar just sat on a chair trying to think and understand and accept the reality. Like the sand falling off from a tight grip, the time was slipping away. Tushar could do nothing about that. Tushar loved watching sun sets. And it was about time for another one. But Tushar had no wish to see it demise off the horizons.
Vivek was done with most of his packing. All the very important journals and files suddenly had no meaning. Vivek’s hostel room had three boxes of garbage, most of that were books. Vivek and Tushar became good friends lately after a few clashes they had because of some misunderstandings. Vivek never really cared or made an attempt to bridge the gaps, but Tushar always wanted to get back to Vivek and he did everything he could. On this mid May evening, most of Vivek’s hostel mates had already left the hostel and went back to their places. Vivek had some issues with his reservation, and Tushar could never leave Vivek alone, he knew how Vivek hated being alone.
Suddenly, Vivek’s cell phone rang. Tushar grabbed it from the desk and reached Vivek. Vivek picked up the phone and started talking. It was some one from his place in Northern India, asking him, how they could go about picking him up from the railway station when he reaches there. The conversation had been going on for about ten minutes and it was still going well. Vivek was laughing and joking. Tushar gave that a blind eye. He wanted Vivek to be a little sad. Sad for he was leaving not only the College and the hostel, but also city and he may never come back. Tushar instantly corrected himself, Vivek could always come back, but he felt sad that Vivek would never be that hostel boy any more. Tushar tried to hide his sadness. He asked Vivek if he needed some coffee, turning back at him. Vivek said yes. They smoked while they had some coffee. By then it was 7.
Vivek called for a cab, and brought the entire luggage down the building with Tushar. They kept the bags in the bunk and strode off for Bombay Central terminal, from where he was suppose to take the train. The silence fell on both of them again. The only sound in the car was that of the car and the radio. The radio played one of the most romantic songs. Vivek started going back in some memories he wanted to avoid. He asked the driver to change the station. But then there was nothing good going on anywhere. So they decided to switch the radio off and the silence became even more prominent. Tushar kept thinking about Vivek. He had started getting a bit emotional. He was left only with memories that he had to cherish now. There weren’t going to be anymore realities now.
The cab entered the railway station soon. Vivek and Tushar got the luggage out. They still had some time, so they decided to go to a railway fast food place and picked up some take away for Vivek and they started walking towards the platform. Vivek held the luggage trolley and Tushar held the food. Vivek wanted to confirm his seat, so he left the trolley with Tushar and went to check the notice board. Tushar took a seat on a bench. He was silent once again. He was running out of words. He could no more think logically. The emotions had taken over and it was a major struggle to conceal the inner feelings and put up a happy face. He never knew acting, he never could. Tushar was the truest person. Engrossed in his thoughts, the taken away coke slipped out of his hands and fell on the station platform. Vivek got back just by then. In a microsecond, Tushar got back his conscience, and got up. Vivek asked him, if he was alright, and told him that he was going to get another drink.
Just as when Vivek got back from the stall, the train arrived on the platform. People crowded on the compartment’s doors to get their luggage and themselves in. Vivek rushed in as well. Vivek was behaving like just any other traveler, trying to sprint things out. Tushar helplessly stood out of the train, still holding the take away food in a paper bag. In some time, the door was no more that crowded, but stood there a girl crying her tears and holding her mother’s hand. Tushar could completely relate to that girl. Just by then Vivek seemed to have done keeping his bags in place, and came out to say a final goodbye to Tushar. Tushar looking at Vivek felt a little alive. He had thought that Vivek completely forgot him. He raised his hand and gave away the food in his hands to Vivek. Vivek stepped out of the train and took the bag from Tushar’s hands. Tushar sensed that something had changed inside Vivek. Vivek, in the most illegible way erupted one word, ‘Goodbye’ and hugged Tushar. ‘Goodbye’ said Tushar as well. Tushar realized that Vivek was in tears before him. Even before they could say anything more than just goodbyes, the train gave out a loud whistle. And Vivek rushed back into the train. And within moments the train was gone; it took away Vivek along and left Tushar with only memories. Memories only to cherish.