May 8th

Back from India, I introspect the great land had a lot of love and affection on offer. Lined with the warmth and the dust it all felt incredibly clinging. I thought to myself if it was all worth to keep myself away from all that. I get mixed answers. I chose to be far. And now it was the time I repay the cost of that decision. Not that it was going to be futile. It brought me a lot of respect and probably rewarded me with a card I could swipe to get my way through the thing I like a lot: Shopping.
A friend told me the other day that a man lives his life in search of Happiness. He quoted a great American politician. I thought to myself, if my life was led in the same sought. That led me to think that I must keep my vehicle in a right lane at all times. Because a lot of things that I did, were not planned to achieve any satisfaction. Do I get some sort of a joy in being a Saint? I don’t know yet. But I will be a fool if I’ll let others take advantage of me.
I continue being alone (not in an unhappy way), lead my work commitments, make and keep friends as I do and did, and follow my passions which are on a verge on a major change, I sense.

may 3rd

I am back in Yulara. I shall start with work tonight. Seems like i had been overlooking my blog. Things kept me busy probably. But I am back. I do feel like expressing something once again. I hope this month will bring that thing out of me. I might bring a few changes soon!
:)

February 21st

A man is like a dog, loyal to its current master, a master who feeds him daily. I am thought-less today. I can’t think much. Too many things are going on at the same time. I can’t get those thoughts organized for me. Another night is upon me. I m not allowed to complain for what is going on. Not that what’s going on is wrong, but somewhere it feels that I am losing the lead in the struggle to get a grip on life. I know that this too shall pass and would be remembered as a phase I went through. I lived tougher times and looking at the current flow, I feel that much tougher times would follow. But it recently struck me that dogs are required to be attended to. Men need witnesses for their life. I felt alone. I just hope that this too shall pass. I will learn to enjoy my loneliness or I already have, but this time its not bringing any contentment.
It’s dusk time in the desert, afternoon in the subcontinent and probably just past midday in the mid-east. Amalgamation takes over me again.

February 5th

February 5th
Long time! I realized that I had not been writing anything since a long time. True that I had my last scheduled ‘Lost Camel Night’ on 14th January, and with the new place of work, I cannot find time and energy to do anything. Gym frequency, I realized went down to 3 times a week. The heat and flies are responsible for that as well. To manage my time I started writing in ‘dot points’ in my ‘confidential Akki’. That was actually a massive move. I love writing, but I just could not let my thoughts flood my mind for long time waiting for the moment of peace.
The new place, Desert Garden, is good place to work. It keeps me busy, more than necessary a lot of times. Another lesson I learnt was that there was only one S in Desert! I probably I never noticed that until now. That reminds me that I should take that extra S off from my work mail signature!
Then January had been one of the hottest months, again. I did not enjoy the heat. But I did enjoy a few news coming from home and new accolades earned! Aditi is born who made me an Uncle. Tickets are booked and I am prepared to continue experiencing summer in the month of April in the northern hemisphere of course.
I shall try and keep my energy levels high in times to come. I wish to be more regular on the whole writing thing. It makes me connect to myself.

End of Happy Day Metre...

I marked the end of Happy Day Metre on 31st Dec 08.

And as mentioned earlier, I am posting a copy of how did i do in its last year.

Akki became 6 year old this year and its good to see him grow. I got him a little smaller for its 7th version to make it be able to fit in my bag more efficiently!

December 24th

I am 24. I turned 24. I lived for 24 years. And I spent that day oversleeping. I was asked how old I was by an inquisitive passerby. I happened to answer, twenty - pause – four last Wednesday. That’s when I felt the first time that I was no more an amateur. I think the teenager mentality lasted till I was still 23. But all of a sudden when I felt like my birthday was just another day, and celebrating it would be unnecessary, felt normal and yet not quite felt the same way before.
Anyways, I still cut a muffin and blew candles out and wished on the 24th night, when the dates in the region I was, had already changed to 25th.

December 15

I think something is about to happen. I feel the negativity already. Or something has already happened just that I should still need to know about it. Usually in my recorded memory, December had been a good month. But this year it has not been like that. The only good things I saw this month so far had been because some investments I did in the past matured during this time. That does not mean anything is happening the way it should have been. The state of my mind is in jeopardy. The atmosphere around still stands neutral, not influencing anything good or bad in particular. Still I sense the negativity which homes in my mind I reckon.
I tend to contemplate that I might have started being a little extra greedy. I might have started expecting the things to happen my way in every next step that has to follow. In a way I had always been the chosen one with things falling in places, all the time. It always gave me a feeling that there is some force looking down upon me. May be it is somebody’s plan that I still have to handle my de-shuffled time and look forward to being looked upon.
This comes as the first entry as the newly graduated Master, however I still don’t feel the reason to rejoice the newly acquired achievement. Let me find the reason.
Just for the note, last week I could go to Alice Springs to spend another thousand for some essential and not very essential things. I could give a lot of things on hold a direction so that gave me a little satisfaction in the end. And then when I got back, I got two extra offs, with which I could catch up on a much needed break only to discover how easy was it to get lazy again! But then the new week began again, and I guess my next breaks shall fall in the New Year, so not many complaints against the whole laziness.

A Bad day...

Prachi wanted to take a swim in the sea when the salty waters were warm. She wanted to play with the dolphins & try Crocodile meat for dinner. She wanted to be served a Screwdriver by adorable Kevin who was 16. And watch two sunsets on February 29th, 2012 flying Concorde from Paris to New York.
All of that was possible, but still unethical, unrealistic and hard to come true.
Prachi still waited for the fast train to CST on platform number 6 and her train was more than 5 minutes too late already, she was headed for a busy day at her 7500 Rupees, no respect job.
13000 Kilometers and 5 time zones away, Karen was headed for work in her Toyota Camry, she was going to be laid off from her work today, totally unaware about the news, she still enjoyed Rihanna loud in her car, as she battled the Melbourne traffic driving past all the tolls, she would still need to pay for.
Little more away from Prachi and Karen, Afia wanted to buy water for her two children. She was too scared that like the two other children, these two would die off Cholera. She made of move out of her house first to withdraw 14 billion Zimbabwean Dollars from her bank and then to the place where clean water was on sale. By the time she reached the place, the water was sold out.
Karen, Prachi and Afia were just three of those women who had a very disappointing day yesterday.

Irony

Gabrielle used to dream every night that she would attend Academy awards and win herself a best actor in supporting role trophy. But unfortunately the work that she did, only contested her for Nobel Prize for peace. And she obviously had not done enough so far that she could even be nominated for it. Not this year at least. She was a co-founder of a school meant for orphans and refugee children in one of the non existent places on any political maps of the world. She apparently died in a riot that erupted in the camp when Christmas presents were getting distributed that year. A few years later, a film apparently was made to pay homage to her and show the world how insane the life in that part of world she lived in was. Ironically the actress who played her part in the film gained acclaim from a lot of critics and people of her fraternity. The actress gained renewal to her demising career and won a best actress award trophy. Not an Academy but a Golden Globe.

December 1st

I am scared, scared of the known and the unknown.
I don’t know what’s in hold
I used to be excited about the unseen day.
But I fear if I may have the might to hold it unfold in an unpleasant way...

huh..

I left some people behind. Do I miss them? Yes I do. Is it difficult to not remember them? Yes it is. And do I repent what I have done? Not at least yet. But somewhere inside I tend to think I have picked up some sort of an attitude, gown another layer to conceal the real me, I once used to be. Is that all necessary? A part of me answers affirmative. But another part is yelling for an attention to mourn the death of a genuine boy. Is this growth inevitable? I cannot comprehend that. But looking at other more successful people, I see that they did grow past some people. Rather they had to. Right now, I just feel like being in a vacuum where I am alone. I am not yet bringing any new people in to take place in my thoughts. Not that I am enjoying this phase. But I think it’s better to be alone and introspect than to share the void with the unsuitable, in any role.
This piece is directed at some people, singular or plural. However if you happen to read this, be sure its not you. Because I am sure one of those people this could have been directed towards, takes no joy in reading blogs, let alone for knowledge.