There are reasons to be happy, and there are reasons to be not. I like to choose to be happy but I find that as a constant struggle that recently found to be enjoyable. I am afraid though, I don't want to loose interest in this activity...
The other time I woke up in the middle of the night as I had a thought that I can only explain as I hit an abyss: point of no return and blankness when I was regaining alertness while i was still asleep... I wasn't afraid of the end, but I couldn't find a valid explanation to justify life as a struggle that's meant to repeat itself over and over...
That's when I opened my eyes and found myself scared and I looked around in darkness and felt the wall next to my bed to see it was actual, I wanted to feel that this world was not just a creation of my mind and it was actual and the people are real too but that couldn't be explained then. I turned to my laptop and checked emails to get my mind off those thoughts and I felt better...
The other time I woke up in the middle of the night as I had a thought that I can only explain as I hit an abyss: point of no return and blankness when I was regaining alertness while i was still asleep... I wasn't afraid of the end, but I couldn't find a valid explanation to justify life as a struggle that's meant to repeat itself over and over...
That's when I opened my eyes and found myself scared and I looked around in darkness and felt the wall next to my bed to see it was actual, I wanted to feel that this world was not just a creation of my mind and it was actual and the people are real too but that couldn't be explained then. I turned to my laptop and checked emails to get my mind off those thoughts and I felt better...
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