Hi Ajit,
Hope you are doing well.
Hope you are happy. You must be happy actually, I have always asked for that.
But the silence, it haunts me.
Its still the punishing me with the silence for a long time.
Just had a dream about you. It felt like you wanted to speak to me, but then you turned around & then I couldn't find you. I woke up.
I had decided I will give you a lot of space & not talk or contact you until more foreseeable times. But then I realised, I have not talked to you in person at all since 11 Feb 2019.
I truly feel that a little window to talk to you somehow would make me feel wonders.
I always feel how bad I made you feel & with words and adjectives I can fill in here cannot fathom the moment you would have felt the moment it happened.
However that moment has gone passed.
I have suffered. I have lost whatever contact I had with you.
You are stronger though. You used the might and grew stronger.
I realise that you are moving to Sydney now.
Three years ago, around same time we said goodbye to me on a trip to India and you moved to Canberra for a years journey. That journey has taken you little farther now. I am happy for you. I hope you will settle in Sydney smoothly....My faith tells me it will be a good ride.
I will come back to me. I have missed you immensely . I have been punished too harshly. I am just going to send this one email. Through my one primary email, hoping that it reaches you. I know there is lot to be said & talked about. But there is a chance that the news is expired and has no gist to it. Yet, it would be your word against mine. Hopefully all the truth and no whine. Maybe there is a new start. Say hello and I will say I am fine. We don't need to talk about the past until we are all right. Be my friend again for a while?
Please do say 'Fuck Off Abham' - if you actually get to this point & never never want to see me again.
I will be disappointed, but at least that would be better than a year long silence for a while.
Hey, but I do intend to channel a path to normality again.
Do take a deep breadth, put your foot in my shoe Ajitam and see yourself from 5'7 & look at Ajitam.
He is awesome & I will be persistent as long as I can be to see you smile when you see me.
Looking forward to a miracle. And that miracle is within in you for me, if you talk to me.
Yours,
Abham.
