Hello!
I love monsoons... It rains.. It stays overcast... makes you think what time of the day it is... Love it.... Before you would know the day is over... and then just from nowhere the clouds open up and give you a glance at a fully shining moon and a star trapped in a bracket of a few clouds..
People praised me and I loved their company... listened to Tera Hone Laga hun and danced alone under moonlight and found myself stupid and happy...
Another Wednesday night is over... I dont have any number on my phone I can ring at this time to find a company to talk with or comfort myself in this loneliness.. Love this abyss... I am all alone ... A woman from North Carolinas yelled at me today.... I gave her a look... she turned back... A french woman thanked me for putting her twins in a cot...
I am just being myself.. filtered...
This is Abhay.
A
July 29, 2010
July 28, 2010
July 28, 10
Hello!
I was meant to go to bed after shower, but my phone rang and I spoke with Decendra and I kept up. A fit of cough kept me going for a while and then I lost my will to go to bed. Then I relaxed listening to Karunesh's music.
At 4 20 AM. I changed my profile picture and put a picture of me with Rajiv Changrani from April 09's times standing with me on in there! I think I am excited to have a visitor. I am just skeptical about three different things that I want to go down as nothing less than perfect: my health, yulara's weather & over exaggeration from touring and fun filled times over this weeked!
Nevertheless, this is going to be spectacular & RC will still have moments when he'll express his unhappiness possibly about my sleep, lesser ability to be organized etc.... Having said that I am really looking forward to him visiting I hope I can fix a smile on our faces and a good memory in brains.
Let me get back to Akki and end this day before tomorrow begins once again before I am even ready for it! 4:26 AM
A
I was meant to go to bed after shower, but my phone rang and I spoke with Decendra and I kept up. A fit of cough kept me going for a while and then I lost my will to go to bed. Then I relaxed listening to Karunesh's music.
At 4 20 AM. I changed my profile picture and put a picture of me with Rajiv Changrani from April 09's times standing with me on in there! I think I am excited to have a visitor. I am just skeptical about three different things that I want to go down as nothing less than perfect: my health, yulara's weather & over exaggeration from touring and fun filled times over this weeked!
Nevertheless, this is going to be spectacular & RC will still have moments when he'll express his unhappiness possibly about my sleep, lesser ability to be organized etc.... Having said that I am really looking forward to him visiting I hope I can fix a smile on our faces and a good memory in brains.
Let me get back to Akki and end this day before tomorrow begins once again before I am even ready for it! 4:26 AM
A
July 7, 2010
July 7th, 10
Hello again,
Much stabilised by now, I feel drained and casted away. Karan was farewelled. And his annoyance is being missed.
about an year ago when I first shook hands with him, a series began. Friends, and then just colleagues and then silence to a tolerable presence to be around. Four days ago, when everything that went wrong settled and it looked like you have gained another person in your life.
You see such people go away leaves you with a mixed feeling.
Its still overcast and pours water every now and then. Does nothing good to make you feel any better. Other existing people around you try to make you feel better but you just want to mourn a loss, cherish a movement and live your own life in the end.
A
Much stabilised by now, I feel drained and casted away. Karan was farewelled. And his annoyance is being missed.
about an year ago when I first shook hands with him, a series began. Friends, and then just colleagues and then silence to a tolerable presence to be around. Four days ago, when everything that went wrong settled and it looked like you have gained another person in your life.
You see such people go away leaves you with a mixed feeling.
Its still overcast and pours water every now and then. Does nothing good to make you feel any better. Other existing people around you try to make you feel better but you just want to mourn a loss, cherish a movement and live your own life in the end.
A
July 6, 2010
Jul 6th 10
34 Hours since I have been awake, more than 20 drinks that I could have had, I still have an energy and a will to write something because something is still so hollow, unpure, & un satisfied. Yet so much had been done, yet so much is not done & undone. Broken mind, and and unceasing wish to get hurt more, makes me use this pain as a drug to keep me going.
Yes, I am convinced that I am a masochist. Totally. Undoubtedly.
Go to another place because you belong some place different. But I think I have newly developed chains tying me bound to this place, this desert, where its raining incessantly since last night.
Yes, I am convinced that I am a masochist. Totally. Undoubtedly.
Go to another place because you belong some place different. But I think I have newly developed chains tying me bound to this place, this desert, where its raining incessantly since last night.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)