February 10th

Happier people make others happy and spread the happiness around. That’s why I try to be happy as well. But then there are norms and rules. We have to abide by them to be able to prove more responsible citizen, correction ambassadors! I do enjoy that struggle…
However lately I discovered that I do have an issue with my sleeping pattern once again. May be because I am going through a change or the level of stress I handle. When I sleep I sleep continuously for about twelve hours and then remain fresh for next forty-eight hours till I can feel sleepy once again. I have resort to a lot of junk food as well. And the struggle to remain healthy has suffered because of that. A lot of junk food end with stimulant coffees and teas that has an impact on my sleeping once again and then I struggle to keep my struggle to abide the norms to be a routine abiding citizen goes through a pain.
There is no reason why I should be unhappy. And I definitely do not want to spread that unhappiness. I suspect a break will bring about a positive change. And as I mentioned in my previous blog entry I am going away for a short duration, which I hope will be a good memory not just for me.
I decide to part with stimuli for as long as I can, no matter that could be considered to be social in some circles. I hope I can keep that promise with myself. However as I write that I do have a cup of tea on my left hand side on the same desk.
I want to learn. Learn to be respectable, in the circles I live and be prosperous enough that I can give those lines on the faces get some rest while they point an angle at me.
May I succeed.

February 3rd

Tickets are booked, the phone keeps ringing when people tell me that they miss the Good times, I tell them that I miss those times as well... But I don't think the intensity is equal... somewhere I realise I have become too externally rigid that nothing can penetrate to make me feel fuzzy and warm... Not that I want to feel that way.
Tickets are booked. I need another break to see an actual civilisation, Something that i am really looking forward to..
Fees powerless, or may be sometimes.. feel that the powers that I have are never adequate ... the worst thing... i make some people sad... I hate that thing about myself... but them what can I do... I am power thirsty ... and thats something I don't have enough...
I keep taking pictures.. live each day as it comes... fight against gravity at the gym and on Yulara drive where I either lift weights or jog my lungs out... and then later go to either Outback BBQ bar or Res club and sink my spirits in fluids and fumes...
Is that a right way of living life?
Alternation, Not a good idea either... makes me go depress... May be I would need another time to talk about that...
Let's see how bad does it grow on me.... either i succumb to it to collapse within or emerge as someone I had never been before.. which is a continual struggle.